What are the means of reforming our homes?
The following contains advice on this topic. May Allaah benefit us from it, and cause the Muslims to focus their efforts on reviving the Muslim home.
Forming the household
(1) Making a good choice when choosing a wife
“And marry those among you who are single [i.e., a man who has no wife and a woman who has no husband] and [also marry] the Saalihoon [pious, fit and capable ones] of your [male] slaves and maid-servants [female slaves]. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing [about the state of the people].”
[QUR’AAN 24:32].
The head of the household must select a righteous and suitable wife based on the following conditions described in various narrations of the Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:
“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!”
(REPORTED BY AL-BUKHAARI AND MUSLIM).
“The world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife.”
(REPORTED BY MUSLIM, 1468).
“Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue [remembering Allaah] and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”
(REPORTED BY AHMAD, 5/282, AND AT-TIRMITHI AND IBN MAAJAH FROM THAWBAAN. SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 5231).
According to another report the Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“A righteous wife to help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.”
(REPORTED BY AL-BAYHAQI. SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 4285).
“Marry one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud before the other Prophets of your great numbers on the Day of Resurrection.”
(REPORTED BY AHMAD. SAHEEH AL-IRWAA’, 6/195).
“I advise you to marry virgins, for their wombs are fresher, their mouths are sweeter and they are more content with little.” According to another report: “… and they are less likely to deceive.”
(REPORTED BY IBN MAAJAH. AL-SILSILAH ALSAHEEH, 623).
Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery, as the Prophet of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam says in the authentic Hadeeth:
“One of [the elements of] happiness is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property. And one of [the elements of] misery is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property.”
On the other hand, it is also essential to look at the situation of the prospective husband who is proposing marriage to the Muslim woman, and to agree to his proposal in accordance with the following conditions:
The Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “If there comes to you one with whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or sister, etc.] to him, otherwise there will be Fitnah and great corruption in the land.”
All of the above must be achieved through asking the right questions, verifying facts, gathering information and checking sources, so that the home will not be corrupted or destroyed.
The righteous man and righteous woman together will build a righteous home, because “the vegetation of a good land comes forth [easily] by the Permission of its Lord, and that which is bad, brings forth nothing but a little with difficulty…” [QUR’AAN 7:58].
Taken from the book The Muslim Home-40 Recommendations by Sheikh Muhammad Saalih Al Munnajid.
To be continued next week in shaa Allah…